10 Things Lasting Relationships Need

This month, June, is the most popular wedding month. Every day this month, somewhere around 13,000 couples in America will tie the knot and embark on the lifelong journey of becoming one. Any relationship, especially marriage, needs two nurturing adults caring about every aspect of the relationship’s health and serving one another in a way that creates a loving and mutually beneficial connection.

Here are ten things lasting relationships need to not only survive but thrive.

1. Kind and honest communication.

Kind and honest communication is one of the most important factors in a lasting relationship. Without communication – kind and honest communication! – a relationship will suffer. Bad information flourishes where good information is lacking, so talk with your loved one. The more communication, the closer you will be.

2. The willingness to give 100%.

Through thick and thin, 100% of the time. Marriage is not 50% – 50%. Divorce is 50% – 50%. Lasting relationships take 100% of each person’s effort. And it’s worth it.

3. Mutual respect.

Studies have shown that mutual respect is the number one key to having a happy, healthy marriage.


4. Fun and friendship.

A sense of humor and a rockin’ friendship will take you places in a relationship you never dreamed you could go. Having a true-blue friendship will ensure fun-filled days and hot nights, and can help sustain you through the tough times, too. Love, laugh, live.

5. A biggest fan.

Your spouse needs you to be his biggest fan. You need him to be yours. Support, validation, and sincere compliments are marital lifelines.

6. Intimacy.

This doesn’t mean just sex. True intimacy is a partnership, a sharing of a bond and closeness that is unique to you as a couple. Being roommates doesn’t cut it when life gets tough. You can rekindle romance. You can share a lifelong intimacy. And it’s important to your relationship that you do.

7. Sex.

And good sex at that. Though true intimacy isn’t just about sex, sex is an important part of intimacy. Your sexual relationship is a barometer of how the rest of your relationship is doing. Take the time to build a great sex life that is satisfying to you both.

8. Compassion, acceptance, and forgiveness.

A good marriage, the saying goes, isn’t a union of two perfect people, but of two good forgivers. Compassion and acceptance are essential ingredients that aid forgiveness.

9. The ability to ask for forgiveness.

Just as it’s crucial we forgive others, we must also be willing to own up to our own mistakes.

10. Know your spouse’s love language.

By now I’m sure you’ve heard that we all have different love languages. If you’ve not checked into it, get a hold of Gary Chapmen’s book, The 5 Love Languages, and go through it with your loved one. As Chapmen says, “We must be willing to learn our spouses love language if we are to be effective communicators of love.”

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