Contentious relationships are never pleasant, but we rarely start out with them. Contention and negativity are traits that are learned, and we need to guard our hearts and our marriages against them.
A sense of lightheartedness can carry all of us through a myriad of seasons, and bring marriages through the toughest of times. Levity allows spouses to navigate both joy and pain, and humor brings perspective to many things that would otherwise bring only frustration.
So how do you find and maintain humor, lightheartedness, and levity? Grace and forgiveness.
These may sound like religious words, and indeed they may be learned only through a religious experience. But these two qualities are essential in marriage.
An ungracious and unforgiving heart can spell disaster for a marriage, and are the characteristics at the root of contention.
While forgetting past infractions may be more difficult for us women (just ask my husband!), it is important for us to learn to do so. Responding with grace to begin with may be harder for the guys (just ask ME!), but it is equally significant that men understand that it is vital.
Grace, lightheartedness, forgiveness, and humor are gifts that we give to our spouses, but the are also quite necessary for the success and longevity or our marriages. A light heart can not exist while carrying a list of wrongdoing, and humor can not survive a harsh spirit.
So believe the best in one another, laugh long and hard when things are good, support one another through the hardships, forgive mistakes easily, giggle at mishaps, do not hold grudges, love always – and you will experience a marriage full of joy, freedom, and longevity.
