Most brides begin the wedding planning process with their tummies full of happy butterflies, hearts full of boundless joy, and heads full of limitless possibilities. But, as Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy”, and that is just as true for wedding planning as any other part of life.
Maybe you know another bride who seems to have it all: All the money, all the finest vendors, all the guests – while you are struggling just to have a simple wedding on a shoe string budget.
Maybe you know a bride who has very little money, the cheapest vendors, and only a few guests, but her relationship with her fiancee remains vibrant, romantic, perfect – while you are just trying to carve out time to even see one another while rushing to the next appointment.
Maybe television and social media have enticed you to come and take a glimpse – just a peek – at what you could have if you would just use your credit card, blow your budget, and rack up debt. The finest gown, the rarest flowers, the clearest diamond, the latest gimmick, the longest limo, the largest spread of food – it can be yours, or it can be hers, the advertisements say.
Brides, let me tell you a secret: The temptation to compare yourself, your life, your job, your husband, kids, cars, education, home, income, number of Facebook friends, clothes, weight, hobbies, vacations, smart phone, and style to those of your friends will never end. But those temptations are just big, fat liars, and they do not have to rule us.
Thankfully, there are two powerfully effective ways to put joy-stealing comparisons in the garbage where they belong forever:
No, not the holiday, a lifestyle. It has been proven that becoming a grateful person improves health, life expectancy, and overall satisfaction. And it beats comparison to a pulp every time it rears its ugly heard.
I have heard it said that the only reason we should ever look at what someone else has is to make sure she has enough. Compassion is a powerful deterrent to envy.
Train your mind to focus on being thankful for what you have and caring for others, and you will train your heart to fly high with joy. Focus on what matters, and dwell where joy resides: In thanksgiving and love.