If you are planning a wedding, you know what a time consuming, mind consuming, money consuming process it is. At the heart of wedding planning is your heart of love for your fiancee, indeed, that is why there is a wedding to plan in the first place! But as soon as you make the plan to take the plunge, it can seem as if your love takes second place to the details of your big day.
It may seem like your only time together is when you are rushing to the next appointment to taste cakes, choose flowers, talk to the minister, or attend parties. And it can be so easy to talk about nothing but wedding decisions and details when you do find a spare moment alone together.
If this is how you feel, do not feel too bad, it is normal, and you can change it. But it probably will not be the last time you feel this way, either. Couples who have children often feel the same way: The majority of the time they see one another, they are rushing around, shuffling kids to school, soccer practice, piano lessons, or Awana, and themselves to business appointments, MOPS, grocery stores, or other errands. When parents do find time to be alone, it can be easy to only find the energy to talk about how Susie needs new school clothes or that Bobby wants a new bike or that the boss wants more business brought in.
These couples – and you, no doubt, have been told the only way to spend quality time together is to never talk about the kids or work – or wedding planning – when they do have time together. But this is not very realistic and steals the opportunity to really let your partner in on what is going on in your world.
The solution, then, is to find balance, and to make sure you are talking about other things in your life, too. A bride”s world is filled with wedding planning, a groom”s with making his bride happy, a mom”s filled with her children”s needs, a dad”s with his work, but each individual still has a life beyond these things. To truly know and enjoy one another, we must be allowed to talk about what is most on our minds, but we cannot be so consumed by it that we forget what else is important, too.
So go ahead, talk about this detail or that frustration of wedding planning when you have alone time, but make the effort to get your mind off of your big day as well. Talk about your favorite part of the changing season, a new tradition you want to start once you are married, or the great cup of coffee you had this morning. You need to be learning each other and building a strong foundation throughout our relationship, and especially your engagement, because at the end of your engagement, you will find that your wedding is just one grand day in the lifetime of a full marriage.
