It is a new year – an all new beginning. For many of us, a new year includes new resolutions, those promises we make to ourselves to become a better person in a specific area, or to learn a new skill, or to get better at something we enjoy. And for some, 2014 will be the year they will walk down the aisle and say I Do.
If you are a bride-to-be this year, the word resolution may take on a whole new meaning. The covenant of marriage, the successful blending of families, and keeping love alive and thriving for a lifetime are all on your list of intentional decisions. But so should be the resolve to still have friends even after they have seen you stressed out and a little insane from wedding planning.
By now we have all heard the term Bridezilla, the bride whose behavior during the course of planning the wedding becomes unacceptably disagreeable. She cannot be pleased, and she comes off as spoiled, abusing the idea that her wedding is “her day” or “her show”. I know you do not want to be like this, so let”s look at six resolutions that will keep you in check, and allow you to make it through to your wedding and keep close friends.
Resolve to Not Neglect Your Fiancee or His Wishes
This is listed first because it is perhaps the most important resolution to keep. Setting a precedent of neglecting each other now does not bode well for your marriage, because becoming disconnected during your engagement means you will not be taking care of one another during the first major stressful time of your life together. Staying connected and supportive at this time will strengthen your relationship, and prepare you for the days ahead.
Resolve to Not Talk About the Wedding Ad Nauseam
When someone asks how your wedding plans are going, you may want with all your heart to go into great detail about how frustrating the cake decorator has been and how you are terrified that the weather will not cooperate with your outdoor event and how your bridesmaid wants to wear her hair down but you want all your bridesmaids to wear their hair up. I understand this is the way we resolve our emotions, but I have one word of advice: Don”t. Things will work out fine, and it is best to answer the question with just a few simple sentences. Be honest, but be concise.
Resolve to Focus on A Wonderful Wedding, Not A Perfect One
Remember, you are planning a wedding so you can spend the rest of your days with the love of your life, not so your shoes can match your bra which matches your sugar cubes which matches your cocktail napkins. If you find yourself blowing your budget, you may want to reconsider what a having a wonderful wedding really means.
Resolve to Not Neglect Your Parents” Feelings
Remember that your parents are going through a major transition, too – their baby girl is getting married. You may find yourself squabbling with your mom over insignificant things, or you may notice that your dad seems uninterested in your wedding. But they may just be reacting to the fear of “losing” you. Talk to them, reassure them, and spend one-on-one time with each of them. Allow them to be a part of the wedding planning, and find one or two things you would like them personally to take over. Plan a few dates with each of them throughout your engagement that do not involve any wedding planning. Give them the gifts of time and understanding, and you will reap the benefits.
Resolve to Care For Your Bridesmaids
Becoming demanding, whiny, and attention-grabbing is a surefire way to earn the title Brideszilla. Your bridal party love you and feel honored to be a part of your big day, so do not slip into a selfish attitude. Plan some fun times to be with your girlfriends, with no wedding planning involved. Play games, talk about their boyfriends or families, laugh, and act silly together, just like you did before you became the focus of attention.
Resolve to Focus on Being Healthy For Your Wedding, Not Skinny
Over-exercising and under-eating will lead to dull hair and skin, low energy, and irritability. You should be eating healthfully, but consuming no less than 1,200 calories per day. Keep exercise within reasonable time and intensity limits, and make sure you have plenty of energy left over for your friends and family. Every woman on earth wants to look her best on her wedding day, and dropping a few pounds and getting in shape is a commendable goal. But always focus on becoming healthy and fit, not just thin enough to fit into a smaller size.
