The singer, Jewel, announced on her personal blog today that she and her husband of six years, Ty Murray, are divorcing. The couple has been together for 16 years, and they have one son, three-year-old Kase.
I guess I should not have been surprised, but I was, and I read her words with sadness and frustration. There are precious few celebrity couples whose marriages make “till death do us part”, and that can be intimidating to those of us who are living the day-in, day-out, messy, beautiful grind of marriage. After all, we cannot lay claim to famous beauty, abundant wealth, or the brightest and best marriage counselors that money can buy. So if the rich and famous cannot hold onto forever, what hope is there for us?
Relationship expert and author, Fawn Weaver, expressed this sentiment perfectly when she wrote, “When every magazine splashes across their front cover the demise of another celebrity marriage, there are ‘regular’ people who are holding on to their marriage by a thread, who at that very moment choose to give up. We see ourselves in the lives of those we admire and if their marriages cannot work – with all the glitz, glamour and fame – how can ours?”
Thankfully, there is good news, though! Fawn goes on to say, “It is simple, most celebrity marriages are not built to last. But here is the good news. You and I are not celebrities so we have got a much greater shot at creating our very own happily ever after.” Fawn says that, by watching and listening to the Hollywood marriages that both stay together and do not, we can learn a lot about what it takes to make our marriages work!
Mutual Respect
A non-negotiable, Fawn says, mutual respect is a consistent common denominator in the couples she interviewed for her book, Happy Wives Club: One Woman’s Worldwide Search For the Secrets of a Great Marriage. Every couple she interviewed around 12 countries on six continents mentioned mutual respect as being an essential element in the success of their marriage.
Lack of Competition
Teamwork makes marriages that work. Spouses who support one another and give each other credit for successes are among the happiest. Remember, as Fawn says, competition is for business, not marriage.
Accept Differences
Couples who stay together accept each other’s differences and recognize that what makes us most beautiful as humans are the very things that are unique. Similarities, Fawn says, are wonderful, but “what makes sparks fly (in a good way) is usually those few things that set us apart.” She says that “accepting and respecting your spouse for who they are…allows them to grow into the best version of themselves.”
Let Love Reign
Cultivating a deep relationship is what our souls desire most; we were made for connection. Brene Brown, a research professor, has studied human needs for many years and states the proven fact that “a deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all women, men, and children.” She says that love is something we nurture and grow.
If you are married or are getting married, pay close attention to these four essential tips – they can mean the difference between marital life and death. Cherish your marriage, nurture your marriage, and do not allow celebrity marriages to determine the longevity of your marriage.
To learn more about Fawn Weaver’s amazing trip around the world to discover the secrets to a happy marriage, make sure to look into her book, and read her entire article this post references, here.
photo credit: hollywoodlife.com
