Everyone you talk to has marriage advice, wedding planning advice, and life advice. But one vital truth that is rarely mentioned in all of those opinions is that premarital counseling may be the best and most important thing you do for your marriage.
Few people seem to opt to go to premarital counseling these days, and the climbing divorce rate shows it. Registering at Bed, Bath, and Beyond may cause friction between you and your soon-to-be lawfully wedded spouse, but the stress and frustration that can accompany the planning of a wedding are a far cry from the daily grind of forever.
To be sure, the majority of healthy marriages have far more good days than bad – days that rival even the intense love and happiness of your wedding day. But the tough times can be far worse than ever imagined in the days of courtship. Premarital counseling will walk you through these scenarios.
It is important to talk about your expectations as well as your dreams. How will you divide duties once the babies come? Who is more organized and will be in charge of paying monthly bills? What religious preference will you impart to your children? Do you both realize that, even though you may know every detail of each others hearts now, you both will naturally change throughout the years? Will you study each other each day so you can realize when those changes take place? Are you comfortable going through the relearning process when those changes do come? Do you care how the toilet paper is placed on the dispenser? How do you handle public disagreements?
These things may not sound romantic, but they are what we sign up for when we get married. But they are also the rain that gives us the rainbow. A romantic, fulfilling, extraordinary marriage is yours for the taking, you just need to know what it takes to grab hold of it.
Before your wedding day, save your marriage ahead of time and go to premarital counseling. Take the time to learn how to work within the beautiful mess that is marriage – and enjoy the having and the holding, forever!
