Your big day is months away. With it approaching, you and your significant other are trying to fish out the details. You want a small, intimate wedding with close friends and family. Your significant other is thinking a larger, the more the merrier type of celebration.
This is but one wedding dilemma that is bound to come up; read more and find out what some potential compromises could so that both you and your significant other enjoy the celebration of your love to the fullest.
That being said, read more to find out # wedding compromises to make your destination wedding more memorable.
Destination Wedding Compromise #1. You want a small wedding; Your SO wants a large wedding
First and foremost, look at your budget to see what you can afford, as this will determine if having a large wedding is a possibility.
According to The Knot, the average cost of a wedding comes out to $31,213. Breaking the costs down, we see 48-50% is allotted to the reception, 10%-12% for the photography and/or videography, and 2%-3% for the ceremony, among others.
If it still is a possibility, would inviting some extended family and not-so-close friends work?
Destination Wedding Compromise #2. You can’t decide on the destination for your wedding
What to do? Because you’re having a destination wedding, the sooner you make the reservations and schedule the vendors, the better.
The reason being, you need to factor in travel time. Especially if it is several hundred miles away from where your guests live.
However, what if you and your significant other can’t agree on a destination? You want Hawaii and your SO wants Fiji. Or you want New York and your SO wants Canada.
That said, why not pick a location in the middle of the two locations? Or discuss with each other about how important the destination is. Perhaps, the destination means more to someone than the other, in which case perhaps that individual choice.
At the same time, you could rate the level of importance, with 0 being not important to 10 is really important. Since the person who has the higher number considers the destination to be more important, he or she can choose it. The other person can choose the wedding theme, for instance.
Destination Wedding Compromise #3. Who to and Not to Invite
Let’s face it; wedding politics can get complicated—if you let it. (Speaking of which, read “Navigating Wedding Politics for Your Outdoor Wedding” to learn how to handle them with tact.)
Perhaps you are afraid your SO’s aunt will get drunk at the open bar because of past experiences and embarrass you and your SO. (Also speaking of which, read 6 Common Wedding Reception and Ceremony Fears (and How You Can Master the Situation Should They Happen).”)
Make a compromise; aunt Susie is invited but there needs to be an honest conversation first so that she knows the boundaries. Also, have a Plan B is Aunt Susie drink a little too much.
Destination Wedding Compromise #4: You want Italian food; your SO wants classic wedding catering
Your side of the family is from Italy; that said, every Italian wedding needs to have Italian food. Or so you think; little do you know, your SO has been wanting the simple yet classic chicken and rice pilaf with a side of roasted vegetables.
What do you do? Again, this comes down to how important the food is for you and your SO. Would you be willing to have the entrée be Italian food and have several “wedding classic” appetizers?
What about serving two types of entrees (if this is an affordable option), and let the guests decide via invitation what they’ll be having?
Destination Wedding Compromise #5: You can’t decide on the song
Now that you’ve gone over several of the details, you and your SO start discussing the wedding song. You thought you were on the same page but turns out you want “At Last” by Etta James and your SO is going towards “The Way You Look Tonight” by Frank Sinatra.
What now? You could step away momentarily from the traditional and have two wedding songs? That or you could choose your second choice? If not, why not choose your song or a song that has a personal history.
Destination Wedding Compromise #6: Honeymoon right after the wedding?
Being that you’re having a destination wedding, you want to explore the destination as soon as possible—as in right after the wedding.
Your SO meanwhile wants to spend a day or two making sure the guests are comfortable. They did take work off, make arrangements, and fly out for a week to come to the wedding.
What do you do?
You could invite guests to come a day or two before the wedding. That way you can have bonding and hosting time with the family and friends before and then immediately after the wedding goes on your honeymoon.
Destination Wedding Compromise #7: Exceptions for close family members
For some destination weddings, lodging is partially or fully paid for. You’d like to extend this courtesy to close family and friends as a way to thank them for their unwavering support.
Your SO would rather save that money and take time to look into lodging discounts. What now? Perhaps compromise by allocating a smaller amount to partially pay for lodging. At the same time, look into a lodging discount.
If your lodging doesn’t have it, try negotiating to see if they could consider a discount—especially if you are having the wedding there and a large number of guests are staying at the hotel.
Destination Wedding Compromise #8: Where to have the reception party?
Usually, when it comes to a destination wedding, the reception party is located within walking (or short driving) distance of the ceremony.
However, your SO is considering having the reception at a beach farther away. You are concerned that guests will be too tired to take the hike up there—especially after the ceremony. Yet your SO really wants to.
Compromise by determining the travel time to get to the beach. In general, a drive that is over an hour will be too long. While a travel time that is under is fine. Also, factor in the time it will take to have the reception set up—especially if the reception is farther.
Wedding Compromises for your Wedding Destination: Final Thoughts
Weddings, like partnerships, are not always in full agreeance. At times, it takes some compromises. Discuss how important each part of the wedding and reception is to one another. You may be surprised to learn what the reception food may be a really big deal to your SO while the wedding venue is more important for you.
What compromises did you make when planning your wedding? Was there any decision that you were surprised by? How did this type of discussion benefit your wedding? Feel free to leave a comment in the comments section below!
- You want a small wedding; your significant other (SO) wants a large wedding
- First, see if you have budget for a large wedding; after working this out, you can then see if a medium sized wedding is up in the air
- Can’t decide on the destination for your destination wedding? Why not choose a location that is in the middle? If that doesn’t work, check in to see how important this is to one another; you may be surprised to learn your SO sees this as extremely important while the location isn’t as big of a deal for you
- You have an aunt who has a history of drinking one too many at weddings; your SO thinks she shouldn’t be invited but you do
- Why not invite her but have a Plan B in place in case she does drink one too many?
- You want Italian food and your SO wants traditional wedding food—get both or have one be the entrée and the other as the appetizer
- That or have guests choose which one they would prefer to eat at the reception
- You both cannot decide on the song; in which case have two songs or choose a song that has some personal history to your relationship
- Should you or shouldn’t you go on your honeymoon immediately after the wedding? While this may be a no-brainer for some, because guests took time off and made a concerted effort to make the wedding, your SO may want to host a day or two after the celebration
- In which case it may be best to be host a day or two before the wedding date and then go on your honeymoon immediately after it is over
- It can be a compromise to pay for lodging for family: you can pay partially and also look into a discount
- The reception party can be at another location from the reception; in general, if it’s more than an hour’s drive, it may not be a good idea; if less, it’s a consideration
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